i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
