My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want her autograph on my taint
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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