I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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