last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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