And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
