I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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