So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
