his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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