I will die if light touches me.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
