dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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