Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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