when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
