where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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