I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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