He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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