Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize