Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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