We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
