If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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