my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize