I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
