No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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