After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
