So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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