im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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