I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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