i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
