So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
