Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
