smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
