there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
