i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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