ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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