Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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