I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
