i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
