The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
