I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
