i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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