Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
