Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
