i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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