Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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