just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
