My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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