Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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