so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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