I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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