who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
