carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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