There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
