just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
